Bender's Holidays
by Darkness49
Summary: Just little...or not so little...oneshot about Bender and all the holidays of 1984, so pre-post detention fic I guess. Read it, if ya like.


I don't own…just a little boredom that came to my mind. Bender going through all the holidays…or…uh…all the Christian holidays…though I think Judd Nelson is Jewish. But I'm rambling.  
Having fun reading.  
Review, if ya like.

**January 1 New Years**  
Bender knew better than to get drunk or high today, which was more than he could say for the rest of the year. He knew that everyone their grandma got drunk on New Years, it was the state of things, and if everyone was drunk then everyone was stupid…well, more stupid than usual; and Bender didn't much take to the idea of waking up in prison, in the hospital, or some stranger's bed. True all had happened before, didn't mean he liked it.  
New Year's resolution: move out by next year.  
He'd made this resolution every year sense he had turned fifteen. He hoped that one year he'd end up doing it.  
Bender looked at the beat up clock in his room; it was flashing a red 12:07, "'nother year of hell…" he mumbled to himself before rolling onto his stomach to go back to sleep; which failed miserably. He heard his parents celebrating the New Year in anyway they knew how; Bender thought if there was such a thing as box champagne, his parents were drinking it. He knew that later that morning his parents would probably have angry New Year's sex on the couch, in the middle of which his father would pass out.  
What a holiday…people stay up until midnight, get drunk, and make promises they don't keep.  
**  
February 2 Groundhog Day  
**It was fucking cold…it was really fucking cold; and Bender didn't need a fat squirrel to tell him it was gonna be cold for another two and a half months. And honest to god if that animal said it was gonna be an early spring…well…it was just a liar if it said that, because ya know what? It was _never_ an early spring. No matter what some ground squirrel said.  
In all honesty Bender didn't know why today was a holiday.  
In fact he didn't know why St. Patrick's Day, April Fool's Day, and Easter were holidays: traditional holiday celebrations on these days made no sense.  
Let's ask a giant rat how cold it's gonna be.  
Let's get drunk off our asses, wear green, and pinch each other.  
Let's lie to each other, just for chuckles.  
Let's hide eggs and praise a giant rabbit.  
So Bender didn't give one flying fuck what that fat ass of a squirrel said; he made his way to the government enforced establishment…Fuck it all, if it was a _real_ holiday he wouldn't have to go to that hell hole.  
**  
February 14 Valentine's Day  
**Bender had, for practical reasons, vowed to never have sex on Valentine's Day. You ever had a girl think you love her? Not. Pretty. There's crying, screaming and…Bender didn't like it. Not one bit.  
He might keep pictures of women he had slept with in his wallet, but that didn't make him sappy, cheesy or romantic…or any crap like that. In fact quite the opposite; he could, more than likely, be deemed a stalker…were it not for the fact that he didn't remember most of their names.  
Most of the photos looked as if they were taken by a horrible private investigator from too far away…but that was beside the point.  
Bender had made it a point to wear his dirtiest, darkest clothes; after all, wouldn't want anyone coming on to him.  
Not today anyway.  
He curled his hands into his hair as he walked into the school, making sure it looked superbly screwed and knotted.  
**  
February 20 Presidents Day  
**Joy of joys for a democratic nation. Elected leaders. All that jazz.  
Bender's old man had been a 'patriot.' A respected Ranger in the Airborne Infantry. Bender knew full well those had been his father's glory days. True if Bender sr. was drunk and angry Bender might get a beating, but if he was happy or reminiscent Bender would hear him shouting an old Cadence.  
It was why Bender knew so many.  
His father had taught them to him when he still cared…before he realized his army days were over, and that was the best he was ever gonna have. **  
**Bender would never go out for the army. Too depressing. Downbeat…plus there was the fact that Bender knew he could do far better harming someone mentally than he ever could physically…because to be honest, Bender was strong, limber, healthy as a horse…but he had the reflexes of a drunken puppy. You throw a punch, he can throw one back…but sure as hellfire he wouldn't be able to dodge yours.  
Bender gave one last hurrah to Washington before curling his hand around the end of a cigarette to light it.  
He inhaled deeply, letting the smoke fill his lungs…closing his eyes he let the smoke out threw his nostrils.  
**  
February 22 Super Bowl  
**Bender could care less about the game. Football wasn't his thing. Sports in general. In retrospect Bender thought this might be because his old man never missed a game…so Bender made it his point to miss every game.  
He could hear the game on up stairs.  
His head lolled onto the couch armrest.  
Weed, alcohol and pain pills were not friends.  
Bender told himself never to do this again…ever though he knew he would.  
One of his buddies tromped loudly down the stairs, "Bender aren't ya gonna watch the game?"  
Bender grunted a no.  
"Come on, Raiders vs. Redskins…we got a bet going, I'm losing horribly…dun you wanna make fun of me? Use your oh so witty comments?"  
Bender threw a boot at his friend's head.  
**  
March 7 Ash Wednesday  
**"Memento homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris."**  
**Bender hadn't heard it sense he was a kid. Back when he went to church. He figured one of three things sense then, either there was no God, God doesn't like him, or God gave up on a lost cause when he saw it.  
Either way Bender didn't give a flying fuck.  
He wasn't a religious nut.  
Bender could tell the most religious people in Shermer today; they would have dirt on their faces.  
Bender saw a man pull a hat low over his forehead as he exited a church; obviously hiding the ash.  
Bender pulled himself out from the awning he had been standing under; he began the trek to school, walking in the rain, "Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return…" Bender muttered under his breath.

**March 14 St. Patrick's Day  
**Red and brown.  
He made the point not to wear green, while vowing if any fucktard was stupid enough to pinch him he was gonna sock them in the jaw.  
"Mornin' Dick." Bender smirked at Vernon, he was wearing a god awful shirt…green, of course.  
Vernon spun on his heel, "I suggest you get to class Mr. Bender," he sighed, "we wouldn't want you to have any unnecessary detentions…now would we?"  
"Not at all Dick…" Bender gave a grin, "I love your shirt; it's very…festive."  
"Alright Bud, class, now."  
Bender brushed his shirt and turned towards math…today seemed as good any to go.  
**  
March 24  
**Bender wanted to be in bed asleep, well…that was half true; he wanted to be asleep somewhere…not in his bed per say.  
Despite what the general populist of Shermer High might believe Bender did care about school. He just didn't show it in the way he should. He devotedly went to detention every Saturday; he hardly ever stayed home from school. But he did ditch class, pull alarms, smoke pot…ya know…general 'bad boy' stuff.  
Bender wanted to laugh his ass off…what a…group they had here. He hated to say it but…princess was sexy.  
The quiet chick was here…she was here just as much as Bender; probably more…she might be here even when Bender's not. Whatever that chick did to get in here…Bender wanted to know about it.  
"Is this a test?"  
Of course it was a test…and Bender knew full well he wasn't going to do one damn thing.  
He eyed the nerd for a moment, maybe Vernon had hired him to watch over the unruly, awful, untrained criminal children…of course that was it. No way in fuck Mr. Sweater over there had done a thing wrong.  
Vernon was out in the hall, Bender took this opportunity to close the door.  
He removed the screw that held the jam open.  
Needless to say, Vernon was quite irked.  
Bender earned another two months on detention…but what was more this motley crew had stood up for him; he suspected it was simply out of fear of more detentions.  
Now…you could really truly tell this was an establishment run by the government. Scheduled bathroom breaks.  
Fun stuff, that.  
Bender wasn't opposed to intelligence…he just didn't feel the personal need for mass amounts of it were needed in daily life; the others watched as he shredded a book, picking small pieces of glue off of what used to be the spine.  
Princess is named Claire…it made Bender chuckle.  
"Why don't you just shut up?"  
Bender loved being disgusting; he moved his head back and forth, Claire followed his motions.  
Oh yeah. She wanted him.  
Sporto got mighty angry for Bender just havin' a little fun.  
Carl, Bender wouldn't doubt that Carl had done his fair share of drugs. Maybe still does.  
Shit.  
Shittity-shit-ass-mother.  
Bender opened up.  
Fuck…sharing was never smart.  
They don't believe him. Of course they don't believe them…why would they?  
Bender felt like he wanted to cry…though he, of course, wouldn't; he hadn't cried sense he was twelve.  
He had a horde of people following him to his locker.  
"…being bad feels pretty good, huh?"  
Course it does. It always does.  
Too many bad things over a short period of time can come back and bite you in the ass.  
Bender had learned not to care, over time.  
"That was marijuana!"  
Oh really Dorkus?  
Bender sighed at the foolishness of people…  
Vernon.  
Fuck.  
Time for running, Bender supposed.  
Andy was a dumbass.  
Claire called him John.  
Bender wanted to laugh at the irony of it all,  
"I wanna be an Airborne Ranger,  
I wanna live the life of danger"  
he was opposing authority by yelling a chant invented to keep soldiers in line.  
Vernon didn't look to terribly pleased.  
Of course no one believes the truth. That's one of the reasons why Bender tells it so often. Everyone always assumes he's lying his ass off.  
They don't believe him about his family.  
Vern doesn't believe him about the pot.  
One big lie for every twenty truths…and they'll think you're always a liar.  
Works great in poker too.  
"You wanna see something Funny? You go see John Bender in 5 years; you'll see how god damn funny he is!"  
Now calling him a liar was one thing, but this…well this was a whole other ball of wax.  
It was a blur, all of it; all he could remember was Vernon yelling…and it all seemed to mix together.  
Bender needed a place to clear his head…be alone.  
He felt the panel below him giving way.  
"OH SHIT…I forgot my pencil."  
Bender headed for the door.  
"God damnit…"  
And again Bender had to note…Princess was damn sexy.  
Bender knew he was a pig; he also didn't care.  
All of his weed was gone and Andy was high as a kite.  
Despite being disgusting himself, Bender could be very careful when it came to other people's things; he had all of Claire's purse carefully laid out…each piece to get it's own in depth examination.  
She looked through his wallet.  
Bender's teeth tasted remotely like makeup.  
"How come you have so many girlfriends?"  
Because then you don't have to make attachments, and if you don't have attachments then you don't care and if you don't care then they don't care…and when no one cares no one's heart gets broken.  
"What would I do for a million bucks?"  
This game…is ten times more interesting when your drunk; you could learn things that you really would never want to know.  
Cherry was pissed, and again Bender noted, hot.  
Sporto's life was none to fun…at least Bender's parents knew to expect jack from him.  
Claire broke Brian's heart.  
What do ya know…Brian did something to get him into detention.  
Bender began his trek to the utility closet; he simply sat and tried to avoid thinking.  
He felt as if he might doze off.  
"You lost?"  
Claire kissed Bender.  
Bender considered making the story exponentially grow, saying he boned the prom queen in the utility closet; but he also considered the factor that no one believed him anyway. So in the end it wouldn't really matter.  
Princess gave him the earring. The one he had so yelled about.  
Bender honestly wasn't sure if this was a beginning, or an ending.  
**  
April 1 April Fool's Day  
**A week. It had been a fucking week. No one said a word. Not even a curt nod.  
It was downright depressing.  
It was also expected.  
Bender's caught her looking at him; she looked away…every time.  
It made him grimace.  
Of course he wanted to talk to her, didn't mean he would though…he brought his mind to current time.  
It being a Sunday and all, Bender found himself wandering without detention or school he didn't have much to do. Sundays were boring.  
Bender got on a bus; it was heading into Chicago. Seeing as Shermer was little over twenty minutes away from Chicago so Bender did not consider himself a tourist.  
Exiting the bus Bender wiped off the front of his trench.  
He knew if he really wanted to he could pull off looking homeless…maybe earn himself a couple bucks; plus it was quite honestly the one of the best April Fool's jokes he had ever heard.  
Bender ran his hands through his hair numerous times; he tried to make it look disheveled.  
Leaning against a wall he made the point to look as tired as possible, making sure to cough like a sickly cat every few minutes.  
After two hours Bender had received six dollars, seventeen cents and a cheese burger; better haul than he was expecting.  
It was at that moment that he saw it.  
A princess, seemingly taking a walk around Chicago.  
Bender considered his options…stay sitting on the pavement, confront the girl, or ignore the girl…  
He marched himself up to her; he kissed her vigorously.  
"April Fools…" he said as they came up for air.  
"What's the joke?" Claire was blushing.  
Bender thought for a moment, "…haven't a clue."  
**  
April 20 Good Friday  
**Bender seemed to be rather taken with the idea of one boy, one girl.  
Claire didn't.  
Bender reassessed the statement. She seemed more taken with the idea of keeping him a secret; an idea that he didn't enjoy.  
He'd caught himself looking at her a few too many times; he found himself going to class more often so as to get in less trouble, just so he could see her more; he'd had a few sudden realizations that he was thinking about her far to much.  
"John?"  
Bender's head shot up, surprised; "Yeah, Carl?"  
"School's over…you should sleep somewhere else."  
Bender groaned, he was spending good quality leisure time sleeping at school; were this happening to one of his friends Bender would've no doubt began calling them whipped.  
"See you tomorrow…"  
Carl nodded.  
**  
April 22 Earth Day/April 22 Easter Sunday  
**Bender leaned his head against the wall.  
He knew damn well he wasn't a fag…so why in god's name was he in this closet?  
Because Princess had put him here; and he'd had nearly enough of this crap. He was a man…and he did not go hiding his face every time their fathers came round.  
Claire's father left.  
"I can't take much more of this…" Bender pushed his way out of the overfull closet.  
Claire gave a confused look.  
"Sneakin' around, hiding in closets, ducking out of windows…round corners…it's pitiful," he sighed, flipping the hair out of his face, "either you want me…all of me, or none t'all."  
She gave the upsetting answer.  
Bender said he understood…even though he didn't.  
He spent the rest of the day sleeping.  
**  
April 27 Arbor Day  
**Happy planet a fucking tree day.  
People randomly turned into earth loving fucks…people who on normal days wouldn't give a flying fuck.  
Bender didn't give a flying fuck.  
Bender buried his head in his hands; he skipped the rest of the school day.  
He groaned.  
He wished he could think of a way to get princess off his mind.  
Bender stumbled into his house; found some of his father's not-so-secret stash of alcohol…he drank himself into a stupor…trying to forget.  
**  
May 13 Mother's Day  
**"Hey, retard…go tell ya motha' a happy mutta's day."  
Bender flinched at his father's yelling and nodded.  
After wishing his ma a not so fond farewell, Bender ducked out of the house into his neighbor's backyard.  
She had a dog Bender liked.  
He left the yard before the woman noticed he was there; he remember when he was little she would let him stay there and play with her dog…but this had been before puberty, of course…before Bender turned into an ass. Before drugs. Before high school.  
He wished he had someone who cared as much as the old lady had…though he would never admit this fact.  
Bender brought himself to a backend, washed-out bowling alley; he hoped it was to dark and depressing for anyone to bring their mothers too. He managed to convince the bartender that he was, in fact, over 21. After four drinks Bender somehow found himself talking the bartender, whom was also the manager; asking for a job.  
The man gladly accepted, despite Bender's slightly inebriated state; said he could always use young hands.  
The man handed Bender a name tag, sent him on his and said he expected him for work the next day.  
Bender nodded.  
**  
May 30 Memorial Day  
**Bender spun 'round in the chair behind the counter at the alley.  
He was bored.  
He lolled his head back.  
There hadn't been a single costumer all that day.  
Bender snapped his fingers loudly; he began to mouth the words to an old Frank song…though he didn't seem like the type, he was quite well versed in music.  
"You know," Bender's eyes shot the newly entered patron, "it's gonna sound the same no matter how many times you snap."  
He had been snapping to the music in his head; any more occurrences like that and he might deem himself insane.  
"Sporto?"  
Andy nodded.  
"What in the hell are you doin' here?"  
"You know…needed a place clear my head…some place where I didn't know anyone."  
Bender let out a low guffaw, "Well…that plan's a bust."  
Andy nodded with a sigh.  
Bender smoothed down his shirt, straightened his name tag, put on his most respectable business-like face and cleared his throat, "Now, will you be paying by hour or game?"  
Andy ran his hand down the back of his neck, "Three hours."  
Bender took the money, gave Andy a pair of shoes and directed him to a lane.  
"Oh and John," Bender lifted his head again; "I like your earring."  
**  
June 14 Flag Day  
**Andy somehow managed to come to the alley once a week. Of all the people in that detention Bender found himself thinking that Andy was the least likely that he would ever talk to again…and yet…here they were…once a week talking and bowling.  
Andy stumbled into the nearly vacant alley; there was one older man at the very last lane.  
Bender looked up with a sarcastic smirk, "Two times in one week? Andy you keep this up and the customers are going to think you have a thing for me."  
Andy shoved his shoulder, eyeing the older man in the alley, "Oh yeah. You think he's on to me?"  
"Three hours?"  
Andy nodded, "She's been asking about you…ya know…"  
"And I care why?"  
"'Cause…you haven't taken that earring out yet." Bender flushed.

**June 17 Father's Day**  
As was tradition Bender woke as early as possible on this most horrid day. Yawning he pulled himself out of the window; he didn't have any hours at the alley, so he wasn't sure what there was for him to do, seeing as he spent all his time at the alley.  
Bender had been working for quite some time to get princess off his mind…with work he had almost nearly succeeded at making sure he didn't think about her all the time.  
Despite his best efforts he found himself in some friend's basement passing a joint around a circle of people, each one muttering laughable comments about how much they hate their fathers.  
Bender sighed, leaned his head back, took quite a few long drags and let the rest of the day blur before him.

**July 4 Independence Day**  
Bender experimentally bent his newly broken fingers; yep, still hurt like hell. He wasn't even quite sure had upset his father this time round, he was just sure he didn't want to do it again.  
Were anyone to ask Bender would, no doubt, respond that he had dropped a bowling ball on his hand. It was believable enough.  
His mind flashed back to the moment his father had snapped his pinky and ring finger, he had been mumbling a Christmas song; ah yes…that would do it. Disrespecting state and country. Mmm-hmm. 'Singing bout Christmas on a holiday sent aside for the country.'  
Bender finished binding his finger with the first aid kit in the alley.  
Some patriotic song came over the speakers; Bender rolled his eyes.

**August 11 Bender's Birthday  
**Happy fucking birthday, John. Ugh…John. John is what you name someone when you're stalled for time…or when you don't care.  
John Doe.  
Bender dozed off, he awoke to the radio "…and this is Ghostbusters by Ray Parker, Jr. reaching number one for the second week in a ro-" Bender clicked off the radio…no why in hell he was gonna listen to some fucktarded plagiarist.  
"Sleeping at work, Bender?"  
His eyes darted up, "Yep, it's required now. For every hour of sitting you need ten minutes of slumber." Bender sighed, "Three hours?"  
Andy shook his head, "Lemme check…" he darted round the corner, upon return he mumbled a "better just make it two." Bender hazarded a glance at Andy's company.  
At the alley's counter stood a criminal, an athlete, a basket case, and a brain.  
Bender made a face of disappointment; he couldn't tell if it was mock disappointment or not, "What no princess?"  
Brian shook his head.  
Bender roughly handed them shoes and directed them to the farthest lane; damn pricks, reminding him of Claire.  
He pressed his forehead to the counter, let out a rough sigh and said "Happy fucking birthday Mr. Jonathon T. Bender…"  
**  
October 12 Columbus Day **  
Bender rolled his knuckles across his desktop.  
Last year.  
He told himself this once a day; sometimes more.  
His teacher ranted on about something or other; Bender's eyes wandered around the class, they settled on one Claire Standish. She turned her face away from his eyes. He rested his head on the desk with a groan, "Is there a problem Mr. Bender?"  
He looked slowly up at the teacher from the desk where he refused to move from, "Math is difficult…" he tried to keep all tones of sarcasm out of his voice.  
"Too bad this is science then."

**October 31 Halloween**  
Bender had been opening and closing his pocket knife for fifteen minutes now. He eyed the pumpkin wearily; his boss had told him to liven up the alley for the holiday.  
He grunted in disgust at the pumpkin.  
Bender plunged the knife in after another slightly misgiving moment.  
He made quite a traditional jack-o-lantern; triangle nose and eyes, a square toothed mouth.  
Setting the pumpkin on the counter, he hoped the alley would get at least one customer to at least see his haphazard attempt at being festive.  
Again Bender went back to opening and closing his knife.  
An older couple came in, they were muttering something about 'all those damn kids'; it made Bender smile, a couple after his own heart.  
They bought time until nine; Bender supposed they wanted to be sure of no trick-or-treating encounters.  
Bender smirked.  
After their hours of bowling the couple left to a decidedly cold night; Bender locked up not much afterwards.  
Bender lit the cigarette hanging from his mouth before beginning his walk home; looking up at the half moon his thoughts trailed to Claire. Bender shook his head like a wet dog. He'd been trying for months to get her off of his mind.  
Bender took a long last drag on his cigarette before stomping out the embers with his boot.  
He debated with himself about if he should light another or not.  
**  
November 11 Veterans Day**  
Bah Veterans. Today just gave his father an excuse to be an ass to everyone for no good reason.  
Bender scowled at his ceiling; he heard his father ranting on about the 'good old days'.  
He choked out a bitter laugh at the sound of Bender sr. becoming perhaps a little too enthused, breaking something and then cursing. Bender grinned; it was just like any other day.

**November 29 Thanksgiving**  
Bender snuck himself into the homeless shelter; it was as good a way as any to get a hot thanksgiving meal.  
He sat next to an aged looking drunkard with a nod; the man gave a partially toothless grin.  
Bender ate his meal in haste, trying to block out the images of need around him; he knew might want for some things-hell he probably needed for some as well-but he knew his needs weren't as much as the men he was surrounded by.  
He tipped an imaginary hat as he exited the shelter.  
Glancing up to the waning moon and gave thanks for nothing in particular.

**December 7 Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day**  
Bender with a whack to his shoulder.  
He groaned, "…bloody fuck…" he mumbled under his breath.  
"Mr. Bender?"  
Bender rubbed the back of his neck with a half stifled yawn, "Mmm?"  
"I appreciate that you are…excited for the holiday break, but if you don't straighten up and stay awake I suspect you'll be on a track down to Vernon's office."  
Bender smirked, "Aww, you wanna give me a chance to wish Dick a happy Christmas…how sweet."  
He was sent down to Richard Vernon's office; Vernon was not present, Bender sat the desk. He eyed the PA system lustily; Bender leaned over the mic. "Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, in the lane, snow is glistening a beautiful sight, we're happy tonight; walking in a winter wonderland. Gone away is the bluebird, here to stay is a new bird he sings a love song, as we go along, walking in a winter wonderland. In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is Parson Brown. He'll say: Are you married? We'll say: No man, but you can do the job when you're in town. Later on, we'll conspire, as we dr-"  
The microphone clicked off.  
"What in God's name are you doing?"  
Bender shifted in the seat, "Spreading Christmas cheer."  
"Get out of my office, Bender."  
Bender put on a mock surprise face, "But sir! I was simply following directions to come to your office and wait."  
After a 'stern talking too' he left the office feeling his prank was unappreciated. Bender made his way to his locker. Pulling the door open he saw a carton of cigarettes tumble out…a pack that was most certainly not his; it was not his brand. Haphazardly taped to the carton there was a note.  
_Smoke up Johnny._  
Bender cringed remembering last Christmas; the lines on his forehead increased when he realized there were only four other people in the world he had told about that event. He quickly opened the carton to find two cigarettes wrapped in a fifty dollar bill and another note.  
_I liked the song._  
Whoever had put the pack in his locker had done so within the last 15 minutes.

**December 24 Christmas Eve  
**Bender curled his hand around a bottle with a grimace he tilted his head back and let the alcohol flow down his throat. He glared at the pack of cigarettes next to his bed; it still contained the two cigarettes, the fifty dollars and the note. He rolled his eyes and glared again, "Merry fucking Christmas to you too."

**December 25 Christmas**  
Bender glanced at the flashed red 7:21 on his alarm clock; he was still holding the bottle. He downed the rest of the ungodly liquid, shoved the carton into the breast pocket of his shirt, ducked out his window and got on the first bus to Chicago.

**December 31 New Year's Eve**  
Bender trudged into his room sighing he looked at the pack of cigarettes. Running his hands through his hair he muttered "New Year's resolution…move out by next year."

OKAY…I worked exceedingly hard to make sure I had EVERY date right and that all the holidays were in fact celebrated in 1984…I even checked what days of the week they were on…and such. I HAD TO LOOK AT LUNAR CHARTS. {[Honestly did any of ya'll know that Easter is the Sunday after the 1st full moon in spring? Because I sure as hell didn't.]}  
Martin Luther King, Jr. Day was turned into a federal holiday in 1983, but was not observed until 1986.  
In 1984 Super bowl was in fact not played on a Sunday, and Wikipedia defines Super bowl as a holiday so I included it, though I'm not sure if was considered a holiday then.  
Yeah I know…I made the detention a holiday, sue me.  
I couldn't find enough history info on Cinco De Mayo in the United States…plus I didn't think Bender would give a flying fuck.  
I made Bender a Leo…why? BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT. August 11, 1984, Ghostbusters was number 1 on the charts…many believe [as I do] that the theme for Ghostbusters was at least on some level a rip off of 'I Want a New Drug' by _Huey Lewis and the News_…sometime later a judge agreed, and fines were paid.  
Labor Day was not a federal holiday until 1994.  
I don't own, so's I know I said you could sue me up there…but don't sue, I wouldn't like it much.  
You wanna know what…this is a dark-funny-romance-historical fiction-oneshot-almost pretend songfic…mom couldn't be more proud.

December 31 New Year's Eve


End file.
